How to Choose the Right ABA provider
By Angela Khater, MA, BCBA | Clinical Director at IOA
When my son was first diagnosed with autism, I was thrown into a world I knew nothing about. At that point, I wasn’t a BCBA yet I was just a mom, scared, overwhelmed, and desperate to help my child. I remember Googling “ABA therapy,” not really understanding what it was or how to find someone I could trust. Years later, I became a BCBA myself, and now I sit on both sides of the table as a clinician and as a parent who has walked this road. And because of that, I have a deep appreciation for what families go through when they’re choosing an ABA provider. It’s not just about picking a service. It’s about choosing a partner who will help your child grow, who will respect your family, and who will do it with heart.
So if you’re in that place right now searching, second-guessing, hoping you’re making the right call. I want to share what I’ve learned along the way. Not from a textbook, but from lived experience.
First, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. As a parent, you should never be made to feel like an outsider in your child’s treatment. A good ABA provider will welcome your input and genuinely value your perspective. You know your child better than anyone else and any provider worth their salt will respect that. I’ve worked with families who’ve been shut out of decision-making, and it breaks my heart. That’s not how this should go. You deserve to be part of the process, every step of the way.
ABA should never be a one-size-fits-all approach. If a provider comes in with a clipboard and a pre-made plan before really getting to know your child, that’s a red flag. Our kids aren’t checklists. Every single child brings something different to the table, and their programming should reflect that. I’ve seen kids light up when we tailor goals to things they love and I’ve seen them shut down when therapy feels cold, repetitive, and disconnected from who they are.
Another thing to pay close attention to is the team itself, especially the behavior technicians who work with your child every day. Ask how they’re trained. Ask who supervises them. Ask if you’ll have a consistent staff member or if it’s going to be someone new every week. Consistency builds trust and trust is the foundation for any real progress. It also matters that the team is kind, patient, and truly invested in your child. Technical skills are important, of course but so is compassion.
And let’s talk about data. Yes, ABA is a science, and we absolutely rely on data to guide our decisions. But as a mom, I’ve also seen what happens when the data becomes more important than the child. That’s not okay. The goal isn’t to turn kids into perfect little robots, it’s to help them become more independent, more confident, and more connected to the world around them. Progress should feel like progress, not pressure.
Parent training is another big one. And I’m not talking about a monthly meeting where someone reads you a list of what your child did that week. I mean real, meaningful support showing you how to use strategies at home, walking through tough moments with you, and helping you feel empowered to carry over what’s happening in therapy into daily life. Behavior doesn’t stop when the session ends. You should feel like you’re gaining tools that actually help you at bedtime, in the car, at the grocery store, wherever life happens.
Finally, and this is so important, choose a provider who sees your child for who they are, not just the behaviors they want to change. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in meetings where goals were written that didn’t make any sense for the child. They might have looked great on paper, but they weren’t meaningful. Our kids deserve more than that. They deserve goals that matter, and providers who see their light even on the hard days.
Being both a BCBA and an autism mom has changed how I show up for families. I don’t just look at the data, I listen to the stories. I don’t just write goals, I ask what matters to you. And I don’t just treat behaviors, I support individuals. If you’re still looking for the right provider, keep going. Ask questions. Observe sessions. Advocate fiercely. Your child deserves a team that believes in them and values your role as their biggest advocate.
From one mom, and one BCBA, to another: You are doing an amazing job. You know your child best. And the right provider will see that and walk alongside you, not ahead of you.