Positive Reinforcement Strategies at Home: Building Success One Reward at a Time
By Angela Khater, MA, BCBA | Clinical Director at IOA
As parents and caregivers, we all want our children to develop positive behaviors and life skills. At the heart of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy lies a powerful tool that you can easily implement in your daily routine: positive reinforcement. Rather than focusing on punishing unwanted behaviors, positive reinforcement celebrates and strengthens the behaviors we want to see more of.
What is Positive Reinforcement?
Positive reinforcement is the process of rewarding a desired behavior to increase the likelihood it will occur again. When a child receives something they value immediately after displaying a particular behavior, they’re more likely to repeat that behavior in the future.
Unlike punishment, which can create negative associations and emotions, positive reinforcement builds confidence, strengthens relationships, and creates a supportive learning environment where children can thrive.
Effective Positive Reinforcement Strategies for Home
1. Identify Meaningful Rewards
Not all rewards are created equal! What motivates one child might have little effect on another. Pay attention to what your child genuinely enjoys:
Social rewards: Praise, high-fives, hugs, or special time with a parent
Activity rewards: Extra screen time, playing a favorite game, or a trip to the park
Tangible rewards: Stickers, small toys, or special snacks
Privilege rewards: Staying up 10 minutes later, choosing dinner, or picking the movie for family night
The most effective reinforcers are often the simplest ones that can be delivered immediately and consistently.
2. Be Specific with Praise
When offering praise as reinforcement, be specific about the behavior you’re reinforcing:
Instead of: “Good job!” Try: “I love how you shared your toys with your sister without being asked!”
Specific praise helps your child understand exactly which behavior earned the positive attention, making it more likely they’ll repeat it.
3. Create a Token Economy
A token economy is a formal system where tokens (stickers, chips, points) are earned for positive behaviors and later exchanged for meaningful rewards. This works particularly well for:
Building routines (morning preparation, bedtime)
Encouraging homework completion
Promoting household responsibilities
Developing new skills
Start simple with clear visual charts showing what behaviors earn tokens and what rewards can be “purchased” with collected tokens.
4. Use First-Then Language
Structure activities using “first-then” language:
“First finish your homework, then you can play outside.”
“First put away your toys, then we can watch a show.”
This approach clearly communicates expectations and creates natural reinforcement opportunities.
5. Catch Them Being Good
Make a conscious effort to notice when your child is engaging in positive behaviors, especially those that typically go unnoticed. This might include:
Playing quietly while you’re on a phone call
Waiting patiently in line
Using manners without prompting
Working through frustration appropriately
Acknowledging these moments with specific praise builds positive behavior patterns and strengthens your relationship.
6. Be Consistent and Immediate
For reinforcement to be most effective:
Provide the reward as immediately as possible after the desired behavior
Be consistent with expectations and rewards
Ensure all caregivers understand and follow the same approach
7. Gradually Fade Reinforcement
As behaviors become more established, gradually reduce the frequency of reinforcement. For example:
Initially reinforce every occurrence of a behavior
Then reinforce every other occurrence
Eventually, reinforce occasionally and unpredictably
This helps the behavior become more natural and sustainable, rather than dependent on constant rewards.
Common Challenges and Solutions
Challenge: “Isn’t this just bribing my child?”
Solution: Unlike bribes, which are offered before a behavior to coax compliance, reinforcement comes after a behavior has already occurred. Reinforcement teaches the natural relationship between actions and outcomes that exists throughout life.
Challenge: “The rewards stop working after a while.”
Solution: Reinforcers can lose effectiveness over time. Keep a variety of potential reinforcers available and rotate them to maintain motivation. Also, remember that as behaviors become habits, you’ll naturally fade reinforcement.
Challenge: “My child expects a reward for everything now.”
Solution: Be clear about which behaviors earn reinforcement. Use a visual schedule or chart showing when reinforcement is available. Also, incorporate more natural and social reinforcers as you reduce tangible rewards.
Challenge: “We started strong but couldn’t maintain consistency.”
Solution: Start with just one or two target behaviors rather than trying to change everything at once. Create simple systems that fit into your existing routine, making consistency easier to maintain.
Building Long-Term Success
Over time, positive reinforcement helps children develop intrinsic motivation, doing things because they feel good about the accomplishment itself. As your child grows, engage them in conversations about why certain behaviors are important beyond just earning rewards.
Remember that every child is unique, and finding the right reinforcement strategies may take some experimentation. Be patient with yourself and your child through this process.
The consistent use of positive reinforcement at home creates a nurturing environment where children can build skills, gain confidence, and develop healthy behavior patterns that will benefit them throughout their lives.