Understanding Your Child’s Sensory Behaviors
By Angela Khater, MA, BCBA | Clinical Director at IOA
Does your child cover their ears when the vacuum starts? Do they refuse to wear certain clothes or need to touch everything they see? Maybe they rock back and forth during story time or have meltdowns in crowded places. These behaviors might seem puzzling, but there’s always a reason behind them.
Understanding why these behaviors happen can help you support your child more effectively and teach them better ways to handle their sensory world.
Every Behavior Has a Purpose
When your child spins in circles, chews on their shirt, or runs from loud noises, they’re not being difficult. These behaviors are actually solving a problem or meeting a need for your child. The key is figuring out what that need is.
Think about when these behaviors happen:
What was going on right before?
What does your child get or avoid when they do this?
When does it happen most? Least?
Where are you when it occurs?
Four Common Reasons for Sensory Behaviors
1. It Feels Good or Provides Comfort
Sometimes behaviors give children enjoyable or calming sensations:
Rocking because the movement is soothing
Chewing on things for oral input
Hand flapping because it feels good
Spinning for the vestibular input
How to help: Provide appropriate alternatives that give the same good feeling – like a fidget toy, chewy jewelry, a rocking chair, or scheduled movement breaks.
2. Escaping Something Uncomfortable
Many behaviors help children get away from things that feel overwhelming:
Covering ears to block loud sounds
Refusing scratchy or tight clothes
Leaving bright, crowded spaces
Avoiding certain textures or foods
How to help: Teach your child to communicate their discomfort (“too loud” or “need break”) while gradually helping them build tolerance for everyday situations they’ll encounter.
3. Getting Attention or Interaction
Sometimes sensory behaviors result in connection with family members:
Making repetitive sounds that get adults to respond
Engaging in behaviors that prompt others to help or redirect
Seeking physical input through rough play
How to help: Give plenty of positive attention when your child is calm and using appropriate behaviors. Teach them better ways to ask for interaction when they need it.
4. Getting Something They Want or Avoiding Something They Don’t
Certain behaviors might help children access preferred activities or escape non-preferred ones:
Acting out during homework to end the session
Creating sensory chaos to get moved to a quieter space
Using behaviors that result in getting preferred calming activities
How to help: Teach appropriate ways to request breaks, ask for preferred activities, or communicate when something is too hard.
What This Means for Your Family
Your Child’s Experience Is Real
Your child’s sensory experiences are absolutely real and valid. When they tell you (through their behavior) that something is too loud, too scratchy, or overwhelming, believe them. The goal isn’t to dismiss these experiences but to help your child develop better ways to communicate and cope.
Small Changes Make Big Differences
Once you understand why a behavior happens, you can make targeted changes:
Provide tools for appropriate sensory input
Teach communication skills
Gradually build tolerance for necessary experiences
Create predictable routines that reduce overwhelm
Modify environments when reasonable
You Know Your Child Best
The patterns you notice and the strategies that work at home are incredibly valuable. Trust your instincts about what your child needs while remaining open to new approaches.
Practical Steps You Can Take
Track Patterns
Keep a simple record of challenging behaviors:
What time did it happen?
What was going on before?
Who was there?
What happened afterward?
Did anything unusual happen that day?
Look for patterns over a week or two – you might be surprised what you discover.
Create Sensory Solutions
Set up a calm-down space with preferred sensory tools
Offer choices when possible (“Do you want the soft shirt or the smooth shirt?”)
Build in sensory breaks throughout the day
Use visual schedules to help with transitions
Keep sensory tools available (fidgets, headphones, weighted lap pad)
Focus on Teaching Skills
Instead of only managing behaviors, think about what you can teach:
Words or signs for “stop,” “too much,” “break,” “help”
Coping strategies like deep breathing or counting
Self-advocacy skills for different situations
Appropriate ways to seek sensory input
Stay Patient and Consistent
Building new skills takes time. Celebrate small victories:
Using words instead of hitting when overwhelmed
Trying a new texture for just a moment
Tolerating a loud noise slightly longer than before
Asking for help appropriately
When to Seek Additional Support
Consider reaching out to professionals if:
Behaviors are interfering with daily routines consistently
Your child seems distressed frequently
Sensory issues are impacting learning or relationships
You feel overwhelmed and need guidance
Simple strategies aren’t making a difference after consistent use
Building Understanding and Skills
The goal isn’t to eliminate all sensory behaviors or change who your child is. Instead, focus on:
Helping them communicate their needs clearly
Building skills for coping with everyday sensory experiences
Reducing behaviors that interfere with learning and relationships
Increasing their independence and confidence
Celebrating their unique strengths and perspective
Remember: You’re Not Alone
Parenting a child with sensory differences can feel overwhelming at times. Remember that these behaviors serve a purpose, and with patience, understanding, and the right tools, children can learn to navigate their sensory world more successfully.
Every child is unique, and finding what works might take some trial and error. Be patient with yourself and your child as you figure out the best approaches together.
Your love, understanding, and advocacy make all the difference in helping your child thrive while being authentically themselves.
Remember: Understanding comes before change, and every small step forward is worth celebrating.